Crucial Remorse
by SassySlytherin
Summary: Sad, sad, sad songfic to Yellowcard's "Only One". It might make you cry, so grab your hankie. You might strongly disagree with the plan of action taken in the fic, so please, hold back on any derogatory feedback that would make me feel bad... :(


  
  
A/n: This is sort of a release for me; the song, rather. It reminds me that, well, if I tell you know it'll give away the whole plot. Let's just say this song, "Only One," by Yellowcard, is my lifeline. And the story Harry participates in tells of the insane things people do out of regret and guilt.  
  
center  
  
Crucial Remorse  
  
By: RomanceCharm/center  
  
Harry Potter was positioned on the lovely mountainside beside the woman he loved, Hermione Granger. They were looking out onto the beautiful fields of the canyon below, standing together, and yet apart. He felt Hermione reach for his hand, but he sidled forward toward the edge. She audibly sighed, and he turned to face her. "Harry..." she called out to him, stepping forward to take his hands. "You must understand; I still love you! I forgive you for everything! Please, just come back home with me and we'll talk. Harry, please," she pleaded with him.  
  
But Harry stared past her, not saying a word. How could he explain to her the guilt he would forever feel? By doing her wrong, he had chosen a path that he couldn't turn back from. And she was too sweet of a person to turn him away for betraying her. Therefore, there were no consequences for his immature actions, he wasn't being punished, and that he couldn't live with.  
  
IBroken, this fragile thing now  
  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
  
And I've thrown my words all around  
  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason/I  
  
He loved Hermione with all his soul; he had since their days at Hogwarts. He had finally mustered up enough courage by graduation and asked her to be his girlfriend. Fortunately for him she had accepted, and they had been a happy couple for the next three years. But then he had started messing up, by messing around.  
  
II feel so broken up  
  
And I give up  
  
I just wanna tell you so you know/I  
  
After he had finished his Ministry work for the day, Harry would stop at the Leaky Cauldron for a drink to relax him and a quick chat with his buddies. The first clue to Harry that doing so was a bad idea came one cold October eve, when in walked Miss Ginny Weasley.  
  
IHere I go  
  
Scream my lungs out  
  
And try to get to you  
  
You are my only one  
  
I let go  
  
There's just no one  
  
Who gets me like you do  
  
You are my only, my only one/I  
  
Still harboring feelings for Harry, Ginny took advantage of his drunken state. He woke up the next morning in her bed, holding her naked sleeping form. Disgusted with himself, Harry returned home and informed Hermione of his wrongdoings. After an understanding discussion, Hermione smiled and kissed him goodbye, off to work.  
  
IMade my mistakes, let you down  
  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long  
  
Ran my whole life in the ground  
  
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone/I  
  
Drowning in regret, Harry stopped by the pub again that night to get something to soothe him. Instead he got another one night stand, this time from Lavender Brown. Proceedings such as this followed with tramps such as Pansy Parkinson, Parvati and Padma Patil, and Luna Lovegood. The most recent was Pansy, which had caused Harry to fuse. He couldn't have himself hurting the woman he loved any longer. Sure, she smiled but Harry knew that Hermione would always be disturbed by the misconduct of her lover. That is why; Harry confirmed once again in his mind; he must stop torturing her so. And he knew of one sure way to make sure he never did again.  
  
ISomething's breaking up  
  
I feel like giving up  
  
I won't walk out until you know/I  
  
Hermione spoke to him once again. "Honey, come on. It's all in the past now. I love you baby and I want us to go home now. Please," she begged him, caressing his hands.  
  
He withdrew from her grasp and she gasped. "Harry, come now, love. Why did you bring me here anyway? Let's just start on home, alright?" Harry heard the whimper in her voice, and he squeezed his eyes shut to block out her pain. She was the only woman he ever truly loved, the only one that had ever fully understood what he was going through. Before the defeat of Lord Voldemort especially, Hermione had always been there with comforting words of encouragement. Sure, Ron was too, but he was Harry's mate. It was different, more soothing and personal, coming from a female. And this was how he was returning the favor.  
  
IHere I go  
  
Scream my lungs out  
  
And try to get to you  
  
You are my only one  
  
I let go  
  
There's just no one  
  
Who gets me like you do  
  
You are my only, my only one/I  
  
Harry took a step backward, and in turn Hermione lurched forward, keeping close to him. Her eyes were glazing over, and Harry had to look away. She lightly placed her hands on his chest and leaned close. Gazing up at him, he sensed that look of despair on her face and had to look at her. "Harry," she said, obviously trying to sound determined, but her voice was shaky. "I love you more than anything in this world we live in. Nothing you could do would deter the strong feelings I have for you. The occurrences of the past were one, not all you because you weren't fully conscious, and two, of the past! Oh Harry, we are over them now and don't ever need to worry ourselves with thinking about them again! Now please, honey, come home with me."  
  
Her tears had spilled over and were rolling down her cheeks, and Harry used a lone finger to numbly wipe them from her face. But she was wrong. He would worry about it for the rest of his life, and so he needed to do something about that. That is why he had come here.  
  
IHere I go  
  
So dishonestly  
  
Leave a note  
  
For you, my only one  
  
And I know  
  
You can see right through me  
  
So let me go  
  
And you will find someone/I  
  
"No, Hermione, I can't," he told her, grasping her by the shoulders. "I cannot come home with you. And I do need to worry about what I did. I played you, Mione! I fucking played you! I did you wrong, and I never had to pay for it! That is even more disturbing than the acts I committed, the fact that I never was punished for my sins. And so I have decided to take the sentence into my own hands." With that he released her, and stood back.  
  
Hermione's eyes widened. "What? What are you talking about, Harry? Please, honey, just come home with me and we'll straighten everything out. Please..." she sobbed, grabbing his arm and pulling him.  
  
He didn't budge, being much stronger than she. Her cries split his heart, but he stayed strong. He had to, for her. As contradicting as it sounded in his mind, Harry knew that it would be best for Hermione if he were gone. She would never understand his reasoning, but Harry just knew that in the long run, it would benefit her more if he weren't there to hurt her.  
  
Hermione found her attempts to be futile, and collapsed on him, dampening his shirt and filling his ears with the dreadful sound of her bawling. Harry just held her for a few minutes, taking in his last whiffs of her scent and the final feel of her body. He placed a tender kiss atop her head, and let her go, gently pushing her away. She looked up at him with wet, pleading eyes, but Harry knew what he had to do.  
  
IHere I go  
  
Scream my lungs out  
  
And try to get to you  
  
You are my lonely one  
  
I let go  
  
There's just no one  
  
No one like you  
  
You are my only, my only one/I  
  
"Hermione, you are the only woman I have ever loved, and the only one I ever will love. But I have hurt you far too much to remain beside you, though I desperately long to. I know that you will find someone that can take better care of you than I ever could. And I will be so happy for you, knowing you have found someone that could make you entirely happy," Harry said, taking a few steps backward as he talked.  
  
IMy only one.../I  
  
"No, Harry!" Hermione screamed, running toward him, gripping his arm again. "I want you! Don't you see? No one could ever love me like you, your tender touches and sweet words. I love you, damn it! Not anyone else, but you, Harry! Please, stop this!"  
  
IMy only one.../I  
  
"I cannot, Mione," Harry answered calmly, still in her grasp. "I need to do what is best for you, my love. Without me here to cheat you, you shall lead a happy and meaningful life. I wish that for you, Hermione."  
  
"NO!!!" Hermione yelled, and yanked hard on his arm, which in turn resulted in it being accidentally released. Harry started backing up more quickly, and Hermione lunged toward him. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "Harry, n-no. Don't do this, I need you! Please, baby, don't!"  
  
Harry gently removed himself from her hold, and edged backward, closing in on the small distance between him and the cliff. "Goodbye, Hermione. I love you."  
  
IMy only one/I  
  
"HARRY"! Hermione shrieked, but her lover had taken that final step over the edge, and was slowly falling from her. "NOOOOOO!!!" she screamed out, and dove onto her stomach on the cliff, trying to reach for his hand. But he was gone. He would finally be at peace, he thought to himself. No longer would he hurt his love, she would be alright now. Finally, she would be at rest to the torment he'd dealt her. He just couldn't live any longer, knowing that he had permanently damaged his only one. As he fell to his doom, her eerie and alarming screams echoed through the canyon. Not yet, but soon, she would find peace, just as he had now. Harry prayed that one day, he would be reunited with his only one.  
  
IYou are my only, my only one.../I  
  
centerTHE END/center  
  
A/n: Okay, see? 'Only One' is my extreme measure for dealing with all the shit in my life. I'm not gonna even go into what that is. And I'm not trying to get your pity here, I'm just telling you straight up and honestly. I hope that the intensity of my troubles is never that much so that I resort to such an idea, and I hope the same for everyone else also. Good luck in life, to all of you. Because Merlin knows, we all need it.  
  
Please review.  
  
Laura 


End file.
